Explicit Content

Over the last few days, I’ve noticed several shifts in my oral and written discourse across various discourse communities that establish my magnificent existence. I noticed my first shift when I prayed at night: “Dear Louie, give me rage, deception, and a heart of ice that I may annihilate my enemies. You’re my boy, Lou. Amen.” Shortly after praying I went to work at a local auto parts store where I’ve given five years of my life I’ll never get back. After walking through the doors, smiling, of course, I began interacting with the lovely people I deal with on a daily basis. One gentleman was raving maniacally that I had given him the wrong part for his vehicle. For purposes of compliance with witness protection acts, I will label the man as Steve and the auto part a Flex Capacitus. The conversation was as follows: Steve: “Well, you gave me the wrong part.” Me: “Ok, sir, I‘m terribly sorry, (pleasant smile) how can I fix the problem?” Steve: “By not being a dumb*ss first, and second, get me the right part.” Me: “Well, no promises on the first part (polite chuckle masking rage) but I know for a fact I can help on the second!” By now you understand how happy I am to have such wonderful customers! Even in the face of provoking words, I code switched to a professional dialect rather than one that would tell that guy where I thought he should install his Flex Capacitus! This is obviously an instinctive reaction, as anyone who has dealt with an irate customer can readily agree. Another instance that I noticed I code switched was when I visited my cousin in prison, again, anonymity. Our conversation was as follows: Cuz: Sup cuz? Me: Sup primo? Cuz: Sh*t, just locked up, same ol’ story, Holmes. How’s my tia?” Me: Eh, she’s good, she doesn’t like my tattoo though.” Cuz: “You got ink?” Me: “F*ck yeah, I did, check this sh*t out!” This is where I ripped off my shirt and showed him the Phoenix back piece. Cuz: “Shyeow! Sexy! I don’t think my mom would like it either.” Me: “She didn’t.” I notice that I spit swear words like a sailor in situations where I have to live up to the coolness factor of my incarcerated family members. This seemed natural to me in the setting I was in, and I wasn’t very conscious of the dialogue before I spoke.